In a moment of weakness, I was persuaded that an E-mailer from BT was just what I wanted. I could use it separately from my PC and avoid any viruses tainting my text.

When it arrived, I discovered that I needed to subscribe to Caller Display and would have to pay a fee (albeit minimal) every time I used the E-mailer.

Although the total cost would not have amounted to much, I was enough to make me realise that I didn't really want an E-mailer at all. I phoned BT and arranged to send the machine back. They said they would send me the correct packaging. And that's when the trouble started!

The packaging was far too small to fit the machine, so I phoned to ask for something more appropriate. They said they'd send me a larger bag. Now, four packages later, all the same size. I still await the larger bag! Still, I have made new friends.... the girls in the Returns department!

I was working in a lovely school last week, discussing story-writing with enthusiastic, bright eight-year-olds and a marvellous class teacher. She was telling me how the meaning of words changes.

"Take the word needle", she said. "They never see anyone sew or knot these days. So they think the word refers to a hypodermic syringe. That's the only context they know it in." Makes you feel old, doesn't it?