IF your teenagers come home chatting about swivels and crabs, macons and ergos, would you know what they were up to?

It's precisely to deal with this dilemma that Michael Jones has put together a handy guide to rowing with the ignorant in mind.

He says: "For most people rowing means the Boat Race, possibly Henley Royal Regatta and now, thanks largely to Sir Steven Redgrave CBE, Olympic gold medals.

"However, although Olympic success has brought rowing to the attention of more people than ever before, it is still a minority sport.

"All sports have their own vocabulary. The rowing book is intended for anyone who might like some assistance understanding the jargon."

You wouldn't ever refer to a crew as a team, would you? Or call an oar a paddle? Often we ignorant ones do so to the derision of the in-crowd. Especially if they are our children.

Hence the guide to the lingo. "For those taking up rowing for the first time, or for their parents, husbands, wives or loved ones, this book will help explain what rowing is all about."

A quick glance through the pages reveals just what a confusing world this is, linguistically speaking.

You mustn't muddle pairs and doubles, for instance. A double is two athletes sculling a boat. A pair is two athletes rowing a boat. The difference is the type of blade they use.

It's all easy-peasy to Michael Jones as he was born in Henley-on-Thames where this is the local dialect. He's spent a lifetime in rowing, including 50 years' involvement with the Royal Regatta.

As Christopher Dodd's foreword points out, rowing is "a horribly complicated mental and physical discipline which looks terribly easy from afar. It is a religion. Its creed is passed from high priests to novices by sermons and bibles which strive to protect the mystery by employing a muddle of terminology. But rowing is also terrific good fun."

The book comes with a sister publication, the Michael Jones Guide to Henley Regatta and Reach.

There's more to Henley than ladies being turned away because they are showing their knees, men in bright blazers, and socialites living it up on strawberries and Pimms. The guide lists a multitude of facts about the town and river in alphabetical order.

Michael Jones Guide to Rowing (£5.99) and Michael Jones Guide to Henley Regatta and Reach (£7.99), both from bookshops or JLB Publishing Services 01189 789114