Re "Save the Groat"

WHAT is all this sentimental stuff about the pound sterling?

After all, this was an Italian weight (of approximately 12 ounces) the pondus, used by the Romans and subsequently much devalued, as it now weighs about half an ounce.

What we need is the return of the British Groat, which would ensure you enough turnips to see you through the worst of winters, and would certainly be respected by those funny continentals who wouldn't understand it at all.

In the good old days of British Groatness, when we ruled the waves and ignored foreign languages even more than today, serious British politicians practised punching above their weight in order to hold the balance of power in neighbouring Europe.

We were in there at every treaty, and all the important battles, holding the moral high ground, keeping a stiff upper lip, and wearing ridiculous red uniforms which made the soldiers sitting ducks.

At least it hid the bloodstains and made sure we did not go naked into the conference chamber.

If we play our cards right, we may have enough influence to bring in a Eurogroat across the whole European community, and once again we could patriotically claim to be truly "Groat Britain!"

Cllr Clare Martens

Kingsmead Road

High Wycombe