YOU may noticed that the Bucks Free Press has quite rightly thrown itself full tilt into the web of the worldwide weirdos on the internet.

Sheep farmers in New Zealand can now admire High Wycombe's positive parking scheme, mountaineers in the Himalayas can enjoy a country ramble through the Chilterns and people living in some God-forsaken town in midwestern American can at least say: 'Well it may be dull round here, but it suren't aint as bad as that Gerrards Cross'. (That's authentic American speak by the way).

The American writer Henry David Thoreau said in the last century we are finding faster and faster ways of talking to each other but have yet to find better things to say.

He could have been speaking about the internet. If you don't have your own website these days you're a social outcast but frankly with most of them it's a case of log on, big turn off. It either hasn't been properly updated since first set up or what's on it is the biggest load of nonsense you have seen.

It's the same with mobile phones and emails. People run up huge phone bills telling friends they've just arrived in the station and will be with them in 30 seconds while some of the emails you get are so badly written they would make a five-year-old cringe.

The trouble is some of these things are so convenient the sender forgets to ask whether it's really necessary to bug you with it at all. Most of the clues to what the hell the sender is actually trying to say have been removed. No capitals, no full stops, in fact not much of any interest at all.

The burden of sticking down an envelope and licking a stamp at least gives time for the brain to click into gear.

Even worse than emails are text messages. Watching a group of people sitting together in a pub all sending messages to other people who are not there still strikes me as a bit odd.

But the internet is the biggest offender. It is great for seeking out bits of information, for getting in contact with people in other parts of the world and for buying things you cannot easily get over the counter.

But the hype surrounding it is unbelievable. Sure it's a great way for people with low social skills to get a well-paid job Who knows, they might even be able to buy deodorant online but after all it is just another useful tool.

You hear doom merchants warning it means the end of newspapers as we know it because everyone will be getting their news online. Well have you tried reading anything much on screen? You just wouldn't do it for pleasure. A recent study also showed that people only take in 30 per cent of stuff they read on screen. It's 70 per cent from print.

A while ago it used to be argued that TV would spell the death of radio and that computers would kill books. It just doesn't happen that way. Giant bookstores are springing up all over the country because people like reading print.

Anyway, that's enough from me. Time to put down my quill for another week.