'A load of old rubbish'

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The badgers looking happy

And the fox is getting fat

I've saved a bit of money

I don't have to feed the cat

-

When it comes to summer

Mr Rat will start to breed

There won't be any problems

For his little ones to feed

-

'Cause if you go out on the street

You'll smell the small, grey bin

There's just no way to hide

The treasure that's within

-

That's if it's even hidden

And not spread across my gras

'Cause the bin man was too busy

Just picking his own arse

-

He didn't put my handle up

He doesn't give a ****

And now our neighbours garden

Just smells like a sess pit

-

There's peelings on my flower bed

A chicken carcass on my lawn

And where my roses used to be

There's just a cob of corn

-

The secrets out, I can not hide

And now my neighbours know

I've had fish and chips twice this week,

KFC and dominoes

-

There are boxes in the car park

And boxes on the road

But as for my own green bin

It's spilt its precious load

-

At the moment it is windy

Bins are blowing in the storm

That's why there's seven egg shells

And soggy cornflakes on my lawn

-

When it comes to summer

The temperature will rise

You won't see the spilt, grey bins

Through the swarms of wasps and flies

-

The fourteen day old nappies

Will have the binmen screaming

Tales of failed potty training

D&V and baby led weaning

-

At least the wildlife's thriving

As my tax is on the rise

But my neighbours fence has skewered

The remains of last nights pies

-

It looks just like a scarecrow

With its soggy pastry hat

And it's steak and kidney innards

Are being eaten by the cat

-

So I guess it's swings and roundabouts

'Cause I've saved on feeding cats

But that little bit I'm saving

Goes on my increased council tax

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  • By Suzanne Watt